Quotation

다만 멀리 존재하므로 환상처럼 여겨지는 것들이 있다.

별들의 세계가 그러하다.

너무 아름다운 사람들이 자주 그러하듯

쉽사리 사라지고 만다.

그의 진심이 궁금해 읽은 책 속에서

내 마음을 오래 잡아두었던 구절이다.

이제야 깨닫는다.

그가 얼마나 아름다운 사람인지.

그래서 내게 얼마나 먼 사람인지.

그도 언젠가 사라질 것이다.

너무 아름다운 사람들이 자주 그러하듯.

- '시크릿가든' 중에서

Happy Christmas.

Although I don't really feel the Christmas spirit, I can't just stop wishing others, right?

So.............................HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

시크릿가든 - 길라임

There's a new Korean drama that I fell in love with.

It's called Secret Garden. Today, I'm gonna introduce one of the characters from the drama.

She's a main character and very attractive one. Her name is Gil La Im (길라임).

She's very tough. Actually her style is quite boyish. Her job is very interesting.

She's a stunt woman. Anyway, see the pictures above. =D

Harry&Hermione all the way!

Because Harry and Hermione are suited.
Because they think on the same level.
Because Harry and Hermione move instinctively together.
Because these two admire each other.
Because they actually respect one another.
Because Harry and Hermione complement each other.
Because they can communicate without words.
Because Harry and Hermione have friendship, bravery and love.
Because they have caring, comfort, and chemistry.
Because Harry and Hermione both have hair problems.
Because these two have the same initials.
Because they are both the only child in their family.
Because they both know what it’s like coming from muggle upbringing.
Because they don’t need parallels, but James/Lily would approve.
Because Harry and Hermione strongly act like James and Lily.
Because Hermione made the Murtlap essence for Harry after his detention.
Because Hermione cancelled her skiing trip for Harry.
Because he dumped his entire bag of Galleons into the fountain thinking of her.
Because she did something she never did before and kissed him on the cheek.
Because Hermione gave Harry his first hug and his first kiss.
Because she brought him out of his room at Grimmauld Place.
Because Harry thought of Hermione with a grin.
Because her eyes filled with tears and she beamed at Harry.
Because she did this as Bill and Fleur declared their vows “bonded for life.”
Because Hermione wanted Harry to be a prefect with her.
Because she’s excited that Harry gets to use the Prefect’s Bathroom.
Because she brushed the top of his head and he closed his eyes at her touch.
Because she was the only one who noticed that Harry’s scar was hurting him.
Because she brought him toast and walked with him around the lake.
Because Hermione stayed with Harry when Ron walked out.
Because she went with him to Godric’s Hollow.
Because they polyjuiced into an old married couple holding hands.
Because Hermione conjured a wreath for Harry to place at his parents graves.
Because he catches her before she hits the forest floor.
Because Hermione gives Harry a hug that nearly knocks him flat.
Because time and time again Hermione flings herself at Harry.
Because Hermione always watches Harry’s matches.
Because she goes to all of his Quidditch matches even when they’re fighting.
Because her eyes were blood-shot from crying after Harry’s quidditch accident.
Because she saved Harry from Umbridge’s Cruciatus curse.
Because he saved her from Millicent Bulstrode’s headlock in the Duelling Club.
Because they always save one another when the other is in danger.
Because it was Hermione’s idea for Harry to lead Dumbledore’s Army.
Because Harry’s bleeding hand was wrapped in Hermione’s handkerchief.
Because they traveled back in time, connected by the infinity symbol.
Because they rode on the hippogriff, the symbol of love.
Because they sit alone in the common room when everyone else is in bed.
Because she was disappointed that Harry won’t stay up and knit with her.
Because Hermione thinks Harry is more fanciable than ever.
Because when she told him that, Harry felt the room grow hot.
Because Harry thinks Hermione is jaw-droppingly attractive.
Because she helps him prove the truth to the wizarding world and clear his name.
Because Hermione knew that Harry would never put his name in the goblet.
Because Hermione knows when Harry is lying.
Because Harry loves every present that Hermione gives him.
Because Harry thinks she is better than him.
Because he thinks highly of Hermione.
Because you always think highly of the person that you love.
Because he doesn’t want to disappoint Hermione with low scores.
Because Hermione knows Harry more than anyone else.
Because she knows more about him than he does.
Because Hermione knew all about Harry before she knew him.
Because she sees him as “just Harry” and not the “Boy-Who-Lived.”
Because Hermione calms Harry down.
Because Hermione is the only one willing to deal with an angry Harry.
Because she is also the only one that can properly put Harry in his place.
Because they are able to disagree without calling each other names.
Because they took steps closer to one another as they argued.
Because Harry still put Hermione first while he was with Ginny.
Because Hermione would risk everything for Harry even if she has doubts.
Because she’s always looking out for his heart and his best interests.
Because Harry wants to protect her and also has her best interest at heart.
Because she’s willing to risk their friendship to protect him.
Because Hermione is always willing to help Harry.
Because she’s also willing to break the rules for Harry.
Because Hermione always worries about Harry’s whereabouts.
Because Harry remembered her when no one else did.
Because Harry always has Hermione in his head whevever he is.
Because Harry needs Hermione badly.
Because they talk about each other to their crushes.
Because their dates have been jealous of the Harry/Hermione bond.
Because Harry cut his date with Cho short to meet Hermione.
Because in times of trouble, Harry and hermione reach out for each other.
Because when things get tough, they instinctively cling to each other.
Because a great wizard deserves the brightest witch.
Because Crookshanks loves Harry and not Ron.
Because Harry sides with Hermione over Ron in Half-Blood Prince.
Because Ron needed a book to do what Harry’s been doing subconsciously for six years.
Because “Oh Harry!” is more suitable in bed than “Honestly Ron!”
Because Hermione reminds Rowling of herself and Harry reminds her of her husband.
Because the HP movie producers and the WB constantly promote them.
Because even Regis Philbin, Jonathan Ross, & Steve Kloves wanted it to happen!
Because Hermione Potter sounds way better than Hermione Weasley.
Because their kids won’t look like Ronald McDonald.
Because this ship does not need crappy looking manipulated images.
Because Harry and Hermione make for a more romantic and realistic story.
Because the best things in life are rarely obvious.
Because real love is not a raging flame, but a calm breeze.
Because the best romances come from deep friendship.
Because true friendship is better than bitter diatribe.
Because we actually ship Harry and Hermione despite Emma and Dan.
Because we particularly don’t like getting hit by anvils.
Because who’d want Ginny Weasley when you can have Hermione Granger?
Because we’re not into Harry’s Oedipus complex.
Because our ship doesn’t need canon to sail.

Harry/Hermione is the only one, my OTP!

wow...

Wow, I'm posting very frequently these days.

Well, nowadays, I'm quite happy.

I don't know. I feel happier the more people I meet,

the more things to do. hmmm...maybe I'm a potential workaholic. =D

Anyway, I really need to to spend my time in studying.

Ok, Kim ah reum, 아자아자 파이팅! :)

A bit of regret

Ah.............................

I feel regretful a little bit right now.

I could've chosen another college.

I could've chosen another course.

I could've chosen another country.

I could've chosen another way to earn money.

Well, at least for now, I feel that things could've gone in a different way.

But life is like that, right? Always there will be something to regret...

And our responsibility is to take the best out of it, right? Right?

My drawings

I used to draw many things.

But mostly, I drew pictures of cartoon characters.

Sadly, I don't have them with me right now.

But there are a few pictures of my drawings.

Luckily, I saved them in my laptop.

Happy days are over.

Oookaaay. Finally, the happy days are over. (not completely though)

From now on, I must prepare for the final. T-T

Goodbye my dear friend, Drama!

Goodbye my best mate, Game!

T-T Goodbye for now!

Song Hye Kyo (송혜교)

This is Song Hye Kyo (송혜교), one of the famous South Korean actresses.

She's become well-known throughout the Asia by appearing as main

female characters in several hit dramas.

She's appeared in many dramas, movies, CFs, and so on.

She's considered to be one of the most beautiful celebrities in South Korea.

Currently, she's staying in China, preparing for an upcoming Chinese movie.

Emma Watson

This is my all-time favourite actress, Emma Watson.

Emma is very famous with a Harry Potter character, Hermione Granger.

Ever since the first movie of Harry Potter came out,

she has become very famous and

now she's known to be one of the most popular stars of the world.

Currently she's in US, studying at Brown University.

Already!

Wow...once again, I can't help but realize that time does pass very fast.

It's already November. Soon, it's going to be 2011!!

I wish I will be better this month than last month.

No, no. I'm gonna try to be better.

Study more than I used to do!

Enjoy my life to the fullest!

Do not just play games but also go out and take a walk, meet people!

I can do it.

I CAN DO IT!

Love this song!

Recently I've started to like a particular song.

It is called Elevator, sang by David Archuleta.

Well, I just love the lyrics and the melody!

Right Now.

I feel like quitting everything and going somewhere totally new.

I hate this life. I am not happy. I feel depressed. I just want to do something better.

I want the time when I fell in love with something or find happiness from small things.

Where did my real life go? I want it back to me right now.

I hate myself...

Sometimes, yeah well, I sometime smother people.

Yes, I know. I knew it since long time ago.

But I just couldn't say it out loud.

How can I stop doing this to people?

Ah.......so tiring.

I mean, I know that everyone needs their own space.

And I'm not trying to invade their private place intentionally.

Ah Reum.....you need more control on your emotion...

Please be more interested in your own life.

And try to associate with many people, not just some specific people.

And don't give too much love that will suffocate people eventually.

Damn, this is very hard. I know what to do, I just don't know how to do.

But I will continue to try to stop doing that and back out when the situation arises.

Or, should I never give love to anyone? =_=

Wizard&Witch

I believe that somewhere in this world, there are wizards and witches living as we live!

Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist. :D

So empty.

There's a test tomorrow.

And here, I haven't got the faintest idea on what to study...

Seems like I'm losing interests in everything.

Whether it's people, things...really anything.

Fortunately, some of things that I've been interested

for a long time still remain exciting enough to keep me busy.

Guess I need some time to ponder on my life. XD

Feeling insecure...

I wish that I belong to somewhere in this world.

I know it is somewhat weird or childish to think like that.

But I cannot help it. I just need to make sure of things...

I want to feel the sense of belonging.

Some people say that not thinking too much is the best solution.

But the problem is that I cannot stop thinking deeply.

So, I guess this can no longer be an option for me.

I just wish that I can be more confident, mature, and in control.

I just need to be.

October's first post starts with Harry Potter!

I'm just so happy that I'm going to watch Harry Potter 7 part 1 soon!

Oh, how long have I been waiting for this!!!

Just one thing I can't agree is that the so called "oh-so-cute pair".

I can't help but wish that Harry and Hermione were together in the end.

But, still there are tons of things to enjoy in Harry Potter. So, I mustn't be

so disappointed. Anyway, the trailer was mind-numbing!

Whew......I guess I do need to relax a bit....XD

Too excited!

Figuring out.

I know they are here.

But they wouldn't know how I feel.

The sadness that comes to me every passing moment,

The guilt that invades my mind and build an invisible wall,

And the lost possibility of what it could have been...

Whatever.

I DON'T WANT AND I NEVER DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

현실

가끔 생각하는데...
현실적으로 변해간다는게,
사회를 알아갈수록,
사람의 감정도 메말라 가는거 같다.
어쩌면 나중엔 감정표현도 하나의
배워야 할 목록으로 전락되는건 아닐까?

What is happiness?

To me, happiness is that I am pleased, thankful for everything, and can be who I am. So, I decided. I will not care about how people want me, expect me to be. I'm not gonna give a damn about what people's opinion about me. I will just be who I am. And when I die which is going to be around 2100 haha, if I have 10 people that I love and care about, then I have a successful life, then I can die with a happy smile. I will have no tears of sadness, I will have no regret for anything. Just, just 10 people. The 10 people that I can be happy just being with them, the 10 people that I can share everything, the 10 people that I will be happy to call them as my best friends, soulmate, and that includes my family. ^^ I will be happy. I am going to be happy! HAPPY!

Dreaming,,,

I'm happy that I can dream...!!!

Maybe...

It's stupid, I know.
I may need more time.
I think I still can't forget about you.
Or at least, on the way, you know...?

I...

suddenly i felt......
i felt lonely.

Tired but content

Today is like a very tiring but satisfying day.
The result for my final examination was actually better than I expected!
And I also had some short conversation with my friends.
Just, everything was okay today. I feel very tired but I'm happy now. ^-^

Harry Potter Survey

Are you obsessed with Harry Potter?
- Almost. Still I love HP to the bone!

Could you prove that statement in court?
- SURE!

Do you know any of the characters middle name's?
- Some.

What's Hermione's?
- Jean

What's Harry's?
- James

What's Ron's?
- Bilius

What's Ginny's?
- Molly

Have you seen all the movies?
- OF COURSE!

Read all the books?
- SURE! don't even remember how many times I read books esp. book 3 and book 5.

What do you think of JKR?
- Well, she's good when it comes to adventures and everything but romance. I mean, look at how poorly written Harry/Ginny was.

** Favorites

Weasley?
- Fred and George

Character, overall?
- Hermione Granger

Female Character?
- Hermione Granger

Male Character?
- Well I'm torn between Harry and Draco.

Group of Characters?
- Umm...maybe the Dumbledore's Army?

Adult?
- McGonagall

Professor?
- Lupin

Ship?
- Definitely Harry/Hermione

Spell?
- Stupefy

Sweets?
- Chocolate Frogs

Place?
- Hogsmead

Weasley Twin?
- Dunno. I just like them both.

Product?
- Wand

Shop?
- Honeyduke

**Least Favorites

Weasley?
- Ginny

Character, overall?
- Umbridge

Female?
- Umbridge

Male?
- Lucius

Adult?
- Peter Pettigrew

Student?
- Pansy

Spell?
- All the unforgivables!! Ugh!

Books?
- 6th (HBP)

Ships?
- Harry/Ginny, R/Hr (but I came to terms with this ship)

Sweets?
- Don't know...

Death Eater?
- Fenrir Grayback

Shops?
- None to be honest.

Place?
- Chamber of Secrets

Professor?
- Snape

**Couples? What Do you Think?

Harry/Hermione?
- I'm just CRAZED about them! They are just Perfect in my opinion!

Harry/Ginny?
- Ugh. Just wrong.

Ron/Hermione?
- Acceptable but not my fav. 'cause I personally don't like bickering.

Harry/Luna?
- Well, didn't really think about it.

Harry/Pansy?
- WTF.

Ron/Lavander?
- Well, Okay, I guess. Bit hilarious.

Ron/Luna?
- Cute!

Ron/Pansy?
- Why Pansy keeps coming? Don't like her.

Ron/Fleur
- Haha, no way.

Hermione/Krum?
- Krum is a nice guy but not nice enough to match with Hermione.

Hermione/Draco?
- Actually, this is so intriguing. I mean, this is what I really call 'the opposite attract'.

Hermione/Fred or George?
- Not really.

James/Lily?
- Good match.

Lily/Snape?
- A bit sad.

Lily/Sirius?
- James will kill Sirius then. So, no.

Lily/Lupin?
- Well, okay, I guess.

Tonks/Lupin?
- Just adorable!

Draco/Pansy?
- At least, Draco deserves better.

Fred/Angelina?
- OK.

Bill/Fleur?
- Nice.

Harry/Cho?
- Cho is too jealous of Hermione to continue the relationship.

**This Or That

Harry or Ron?
- Harry

Hermione or Ginny?
- Definitely Hermione. Hermione ROCKS!

Nevile or Seamus?
- Nevile. He's kind.

Snape or Slughorn?
- Snape is better here.

Fred or George?
- Can't seperate them apart. They are just ONE.

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?
- Is this some kind of joke? OF COURSE Harry/Hermione!

Rom/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?
- Absolutely Harry/Hermione

Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?
- Harry/Hermione for sure.

Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?
- Ron/Luna. :)

Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?
- Didn't you understand by now that I will always choose Harry/Hermione?

Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione?
-Ron/Lavander is better though I don't really like them always snogging. =.=

Butterbeer or Fire whiskey?
-Butterbear

Zonko's or Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes?
- WWW

Hog's Head or The Three Broomsticks?
- The Three Broomsticks

James/Lily or Snape/Lily?
- James/Lily

Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?
- Hogwarts of course.

Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley?
-Diagon Alley

Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?
- Knockturn Alley

Beartie Bott's or Fizzing Whizbees?
-Fizzling Whizbees

Witch Weekly or The Daily Prophet?
- Daily Prophet

Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?
- Rita is at least better than him.

Gryffindor or Ravenclaw?
- Ravenclaw

**Random

Have you been to a release party?
- no...

Ever cried while reading one of the books?
- shed tears but not cry...

A movie?
- When dumbledore died, i almost cried.

Books or movies?
- well, can't choose really, I love both books and movies. They have their own assets.

Had a dream about Harry Potter?
- Definitely!!

Been to a fansite?
- Hell yeah! but recently only H/Hr sites

Been to JKR's site?
- A few.

Have you ever rolepalyed?
- No. but i wish to.

If so/do...who were you/ are you?
- i haven't done it.

Did you use to have absurd theory?
- haha yeah.

What was it?
- don't really remember now...

Did you/do you hide your obsession?
- Never.

Did it/does it work?
- Even if i try, no, it won't work.

Ever dressed up like a character?
- Sadly, no. I wish to do that.

Ever noticed that you can't spell "Hermione without Ron"?
- No.

Did you just try to prove that wrong?
- well, no.

Noticed that if Harry and Hermione got married, they'd have EXACT same initials?
- Of course! Like years ago.

Did you just try to prove that wrong?
- No.

Have you noticed that Lily Evans and Ginny Weasley are alot alike?
- Yeah. But mostly looks though.

Do you find it weird that Harry and his dad fell in love with girls so alike?
- a bit, to be honest.

Do you know what fanfiction is?
- Of course.

Ever been to a fanfiction site?
- Hell yeah.

Do you read fanfictions?
- Too much actually.

If so, do you like it?
- I don't like it. I love it!

Are you a member of a fanfiction site?
- Yes.

What site?
- A lot to mention. But mostly, fanfiction.net

Do you write fanfiction?
- Yes.

Do you like to write fanfiction?
- Absolutely. Fanfiction is another place to share ideas and stories and love for HP, I think.

Ever had Harry Potter Candy?
- No.

Do you own a lot of Harry Potter stuff?
- Maybe not a lot, but yes. I sometimes make some stickers too, you know. lol

Do you have Harry Potter Scene It?
- I don't have.

Do you have a Harry Potter shirt?
- No, haven't seen one yet. But I want to buy a few in the future.

What character are you most often compared to?
- Sometimes Hermione, sometimes Luna. well? bipolar? maybe.

Do you have any nicknames that have to do with Harry Potter?
- Yeah, i guess so. I mean, if you consider "Harry Potter freak" as a nickname. =_=

What are they?
- See above.

Do you object to being called by them?
- Not really.

Are your friends supportive of your obsession?
- Unfortunately, not really.

Do you have any inside jokes that related to Harry Potter?
- Hahaha..............

What's one? (you don't have to explain)
- I'd rather not tell.

Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter?
- Often. But I try to suppress doing that in front of my friends.

Do you love being obsessed with Harry Potter?
- Why not? I'm proud of it.

Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts?
- I wish to attend Hogwarts like HELL! I want!

Have you re-read the books?
- Yes!!!

Have you had a Harry Potter themed party?
- No, but if there's one, I'd like to join.

Have you had an RP party?
- No.

Do you want to?
- Maybe?

Thank you for answering all the questions!
- My pleasure.

Happy Birthday To Me

Well, can't help but say that I'm quite bored today.
But, whatever, I'll just enjoy as much as I can!
Happy birthday to me.

My brother

My brother is on a MAGAZINE!!!!!!
But of course a magazine about mobile phone. XD

Malaysian National Library

Today, I went to Malaysian National Library.
Even though I could not go inside because they do not open on Monday,
I was very excited to see the huge building in front of me. =)
Anyway, I'm gonna start finding some good English books to read
and then maybe I will look for some good nursing books!
I'm just looking for the day I go to the library again...!

Wondering

I am wondering about where my life will take me to.
But then, I think again.
Actually, I am the one who makes differences in my own life!
So I think again.
I may be bad at some things, but I will try my best to live
my life to the fullest!

From A Walk To Remember...

Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything.
About life, hope, and the long journey ahead.
I will always miss her. But our love is like the wind.
I can't see it. But I can feel it.

Landon Carter From 'A Walk To Remember'

well? this is for you. hahahahaha

Oh, you are my disturbia.
The one who bothers me all the time.
The one who makes me worry like hell.
But.
you are my love too.
The one who will be there for me.
The one makes me laugh like hell.
You are my only brother.
The one who will always stay with me.
The one who will love me for who I am.

hehe i love you, my bro!

Where should I go from now on?

I don't know what to do from now on.
Maybe waiting? Or saying goodbye?
Umm...I cannot decide.
I cannot find which side i should go for.
And I see your face, everyday.
Even though you don't notice,
I always look at you everytime I have a chance.
And it pains me a bit to see us right now.
And it pains me a bit to see you right now.
I just don't know what to do.
I just want to get you out of my mind.
But I also want to get you right back to me.
To be friends again.

And I never came back.

I worked so hard to earn trust from her, and I lost it so easily.
And I have no courage to earn it again because I have no confidence in keeping it anymore.
So the thing begins. I am trying to find where I belong, whom I need to help.
And I thought I found one. But later, I found myself helping two different people.
I never knew this could bring a big trouble. And now I am in a mess. I cannot get away unless I let them go once and for all. But...I cannot let go, cannot let go of the people because I care about them.

Posting!

Argh! I cannot get online for more than 2 months!
But anyway, I will do my best to build my practical
skills in nursing while I stay there, Kulim and Kepala Batas...

아자아자 파이팅! ㅋㅋ

If...

If you don't wake up tomorrow,
If it turns out that today is the last day on the earth,
Will you be proud of what you have done in this life?

Will I?
Did I, Have I done something that I am proud of?

I think about the past.
And my heart starts to beat fast.
Will I be satisfied on the last day of my life?
Will I look at myself proudly?

So many questions...
There are too many questions but too little answers.
How, how would I face the end? When I don't want to...

No...I need to do things that I'm supposed to finish.
Before it's too late.

Before it's too late.

You know what?

You are pathetic.
Don't try so hard to be someone you can never be...
Well, but if you want to keep doing that,
then I can only say that you are just one of those wannabes.

For my friend...

You were staring at the empty space and I was sitting beside you quietly. Even though I didn't exactly know what is going on in your head, I could know that you are in complete misery and sadness. I wished that I could make you happy again, make you smile again. But the only thing I could do was just be there for you. Because I can't really help you but give some suggestions. And I really didn't like it. Because I already knew that suggestions didn't really help in this case. And I am really sorry for giving so little to you. I wish I could do much more than what I can do now. And I really thank you for being there for me too. We both know that we have our own problems but we still help each other, in whatever ways. You make me have a chance to talk about my problems. And I return the favour by giving you a comfort, a shoulder for you to lean on. Even though we are not happy with our lives, I hope my presence in your life makes your life a little bit bearable for you. And thank you. My life is better because you are in it.

Just for you. Friends forver.

The Me From The Past...

I don't like it.
I don't like it very much.
I don't like when people point out my problems.
But that's what I need.
I'm having a dilemma...
And I don't know how to solve this.
They want me from the past.
But how can I get myself from the past again?
How...?
They don't like me, me now.
But how did I become like this?
How...?

How...

In my world

Everyone, stand still!
I'm seething out my anger.

Everything I tried to seal,
Comes out of the cover.

The unseen dagger with untruthful, deadly poison...
The voice of you makes me feel the burning sensation.

A sick to my stomach.
Fallin' through the darkened abyss...

I start to hear something again.
The never-ending story.

Chaos!

A bunch of lies. A life without truth.
Don't know where to stay, just keep moving.

Keeping shut is the best solution.
I've made my decision.
I've got something to believe.
And I'm gonna keep it whatever it takes.
No matter what happens...

Complete distress

Confused, frustrated, emotions mixed
All of these come at once
Don't know what to do
No one to turn to
Can you save me...?

I want...

I want to see what is really there.
Behind your eyes, behind your words.

Deep down there, I know that I like you.
Whatever happens, I'll be there for you.

But please give me a moment of truth.
I want to know the truth.
I want to know that you are true.
I...I want to know if everything about you is true.
Everything...every memory, everything you gave me...

She doesn't know anything.

She wants me to change myself.
And I wonder how, how I'm gonna change myself.
I've been myself for almost 18 years.
And she expects me to change myself so suddenly, so quickly.
How can I change?
Should I be who she wants me to be?
I don't say, "you need to change beause I don't like the way you are."
I don't say, "you shouldn't be like this because other people won't like it."

Why should I care what other people's wants!!?
Can't you just accept me as who I am?
You guys say that I changed.
But don't you think, when I was just the same, you guys changed?

Can't you guys just accept me as who I am?
whether I complain a lot,
whether I act childish sometimes,
whether I do somthing stupid at times...
because that's how I am, how I cope wih my life.

Because everyone is not perfect.

Difference.

We are different.
We think differently.
We act differently.
We have different opinions.
We came from a different world.

We are not the same. We are just different.
Because everything happened to us is all diffrent.
So, why should we be the same?
Why should we act in the same way?
Why should we think in the same way?
Why should we follow the same rules?
Why should we be the same?

We are all different.
Then why do you make rules about what I can be and can't be?
I wonder why I need to be what you want me to be.

I wonder.

I don't know why!

Today, ok, I tried to control my anger.
I even prepared a notebook to write down every single reason why I was angry.
But everything went blank after hearing something stupidly, crazily absurd.
That there's a possibility that she cares about me.
Yeah right. why suddenly would she be like this?
I didn't want to think about it, but I did, and I lost my focus on my study again.
Totally distracted by something that I should never be distracted by.
And my mind, full of anger, sadness, aggressive thoughts, just won't stop
making me become depressed, helplessly angry.
.
.
.
Am I ruined already...?

My life sucks now.

WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S SO NOT EASY?!
IT'S DAMN DIFFICULT!!!
TO PRETEND THAT I'M HAPPY!
TO FAKE A SMILE, A LAUGH!
TO BECOME ENJOYABLE TO YOU!

HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THIS!
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF SUICIDE!
BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THEN?!
WHAT AM I SUPPOED TO DO?
I'M ALREADY MAD AT MYSELF,
AND NOW YOU GUYS HATE ME FOR BEING LIKE THIS?
WHAT! WHAT!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!......(T_T)

PLEASE, ANYONE OUT THERE?
CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND THE SOLUTION?
BEFORE I DO SOMETHING STUPID TO MYSELF AGAIN?
PLEASE!

Re-start: Facts about me XD

Ahh, I just erased everything I've written before. I just wanted to start all over again. So, here I am, writing a new post. This time, I will post about me. Hmm, like a "Facts about me". I just wanna introduce myself simply. Here we go then.

Name: Kim Ah Reum (김아름)
Birthdate: June 24, 1992
Blood Type: (RH+) B
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Hometown: Yong-In, South Korea (though I was born in Seoul)
Siblings: 1 younger brother (Kim Seung Hyun, 김승현)

Favorite
Colour: Purple and Yellow
Number: 2
Movies: Avatar, Harry Potter, Twilight, The Sound Of Music, etc...
Songs: So many that I can't list down!
Subjects: English, Korean, Social Studies, Earth Science, Music
Actor/Actress: Michelle Rodriguez, Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe

Ah, well, I need to study. I forget that I have a test tomorrow. XD walaoeh.
So, I guess this is the end for today. Hmmm...So, bye. :D and see ya soon!